I have been invited to speak for 10-15 minutes on women in politics, and the absence of women in parliament at an event Cambridge City Council is holding on International Women's Day next March.

I'm very proud of the city council's approach to equality issues, and feel honoured that as an "out" trans woman I would be asked to do this. I do suspect there may be one or two transphobic radfems who find themselves annoyed by this though.

Between now and then I have a speech to write!

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/249538.html - you can comment here or there.
The following document has come to my attention. It is something that has been produced by clinicians at the West London Mental Health Trust (i.e. Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic), I guess as part of a patient/community relations exercise, and aims to detail some commonly held beliefs about the clinic and contrast them with their view. I am told that all the clinicians have signed up to it. Here's the document - feel free to pass it around, and I hope it proves helpful!
WLMHT GENDER IDENTITY CLINIC (GIC) MYTHS

The WLMHT (“Charing Cross”) Gender Identity Clinic has existed in one form or another since the early 1960s, and clinical practice is constantly evolving. It is perhaps inevitable that, in that time, a number of false beliefs and misconceptions have arisen.

Not all these beliefs are “myths” in the sense of having always been untrue – some stem from the way the GIC operated in the past, or the approaches of previous clinicians – but all are outdated, and unreflective of current treatment protocol.

The following, then, are examples of commonly held beliefs about the WLMHT GIC which are untrue:

You have to wear a skirt to the GIC
Perhaps the most widely cited misconception, this is not the case. As part of the Real Life Experience (RLE), male-to-female transitioners are expected to present themselves in female role 100% of the time, and sometimes it is relevant to discuss this in clinic appointments. However, the range of feminine apparel is, obviously, wide and varied, and cannot simply be reduced to “wear a skirt”.

A less common variant holds that female-to-male transitioners must wear a suit and tie to be taken seriously at the GIC. This too is without basis.


You have to be living "in role"
Not the case. We see people who experience gender related distress; some are pre- transition, some do not undergo transition at all. All are valid referrals to our service.

You have to want surgery
Not at all. Not everyone needs or wants gender related surgery.

You have to be suicidal
On the contrary, it is important that those undergoing transition be stable, physically and psychologically. It is not unusual for us to see people who have, as a result of their gender distress, been depressed – sometimes to the point of suicidality – but we would hope that, as transition progresses, this gradually improves.

You have to be heterosexual
We have heard health professionals say this of the clinic, but it is patently ridiculous. It would be grossly unethical of us to insist on heterosexuality in our patients.

You can't admit to doubt
Transition is, for many, a major life change and it would be unusual to have no doubts whatsoever. You should feel comfortable discussing feelings of doubt with your clinicians.

You have to give a standard trans narrative
As the UK’ s largest gender clinic, we see a huge diversity of people, and neither wish nor expect you to tailor your own experiences to a set of clichés. Just be honest.

The GIC will start you at the beginning again
This was our practice in decades past. In the last decade or so, it has been standard practice to acknowledge previous time spent in the preferred gender role. Typically, we “back date” the start of transition to the start of living in role full time as well as making an official name change or equivalent.

The GIC will stop your hormones
No. Our concern is that you take hormones safely. We routinely carry out blood tests at the first appointment, and may advise accordingly, but we generally do not ask people to stop hormones on which they are established.

The GIC will penalise you for having gone private/self-medicated
Obviously, we cannot approve of self-medication as it can be dangerous and often leads to a poorer result than that gained under medical supervision. However, we recognise that it is a modern reality, though, and do not penalise you for it. The same is true of previous contact with private practitioners.

It will take forever
Within the limits of available NHS resources, we aim to provide a timely and efficient service.

They deliberately play Good Cop/Bad Cop
Different clinicians have different approaches, and will form different therapeutic relationships with their patients. Choice of clinician is determined by availability of appointment slots, not by any sort of organised Good/Bad Clinician policy.

November 2010


Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/249079.html - you can comment here or there.
Last night saw another "hit and run" on IRC. As it happened in the middle of the night there was nobody there to respond, so I thought a little bit of parody this afternoon was in order:
[01:33] str8_but_curious_30m joined the chat room.
[01:33] str8_but_curious_30m: hi everyone
[01:35] str8_but_curious_30m: anyone there?
[01:36] str8_but_curious_30m left the chat room.

... time passes

[12:58] You are now known as gay_but_asexual_37f.
[12:58] gay_but_asexual_37f: Hi all. Anyone here?
[12:59] gay_but_asexual_37f: Does someone wanna talk about cats?
[12:59] gay_but_asexual_37f: Anyone?
[12:59] gay_but_asexual_37f: bye
[12:59] You are now known as sarahlizzy.


Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/248596.html - you can comment here or there.
Recently in the news is the American TSA (you know, the nice uniformed people in airports who do security) and their new technique for discouraging people from opting out of those awful body scanner security theatre devices. Apparently they have gone in for very public, very intimate pat downs, presumably in an attempt to humiliate refuseniks into using the "perve at your naked body scanners".

One source quotes someone in the know:
An effective pat down "has to be invasive" and touch both breasts and genitals, says Billie Vincent, a former security director for the Federal Aviation Administration. "It is clearly a technique that most people would consider an invasion of their privacy."


Passengers have reported feeling unpleasantly surprised at the intimacy of the searches, but I can't help feeling that the TSA haven't thought this through very clearly, because there's an obvious problem with this from their point of view, which I think I can illustrate with this video:



Just saying...

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/248323.html - you can comment here or there.
So now it's out - the world knows that both the victim and the suspect in the death of Sonia Burgess are transgender. In one of the most hateful pieces of alleged "journalism" I have ever seen on trans issues (warning, reading this reduced me to sobs and I had to resort to Valium. You have been warned), the Daily Mail casually strip both women of their identity, their dignity and their humanity.

Notice too how the legal system is doing the same. The police outed the victim, the judge apparently outed the suspect (I knew she was trans and who she was a few days ago - I was keeping quiet about it). Notice how the suspect was remanded in a male prison, notice how she appeared in court with significant male-pattern facial hair. Notice how the judge asked if Nina had "completed" her "sex change", which is, of course, code for "does she have a penis?". Notice how it's reported that Nina "wished to be referred to as Nina" (probably because that is her name). Wonder whether, in allowing this information to come out in this way, the state is allowing Nina to receive a trial which is fair and unprejudiced?

And, to reiterate, notice how this woman is currently in a male prison. Regardless of her guilt or innocence, she is now being punished beyond anything I dare to imagine. I can only hope that they have her in solitary confinement, because if she is exposed to the general male prison population ...

This then is what transgender people face every day of our lives - the possibility that on a whim of a policeman, or a judge, or a journalist, our identities, dignity and humanity can be stripped from us, and it can be done with impunity. Sure, in theory there is the Gender Recognition Act, the thing that supposedly protects us, only according to the explanatory notes for the 2010 Equality Act, it doesn't - not really. It should be noted that no case has ever been brought under the anti-outing provision of the GRA - [livejournal.com profile] zoeimogen checked using the Freedom of Information Act.

The Equality Act itself makes our precarious situation in society very clear, in perhaps its most chilling part for trans people. With respect to 8 of the 9 "protected characteristics", employers can create a position which requires someone to have that particular characteristic. You can, for example, require that applicants are female, or from a particular ethnic minority, or is a wheelchair user, or is gay.

For the last remaining "protected characteristic", gender reassignment you can't do this - it's not just that there is no provision in the Act to allow a job to require a transgender applicant. No, the sense of the Act is actually reversed at this point - you can only allow a job to require that the applicant is not transgender.

And if the explanatory notes are to be believed, the mighty GRA is, in this situation, irrelevant. That bit of paper that says I'm female, my birth certificate that says the same thing; the state apparently doesn't regard them as true, not really.

Imagine living your life faced with the constant possibility that who you are can be taken away from you, if you are a woman, that you can be dumped in a men's prison, and also that the thing that causes you the most pain in your life can and will be dragged through the press for the public's entertainment. That is what it is to be transgender in the UK in 2010.

There but for the grace of god go I, and all that.

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/248244.html - you can comment here or there.
Been a while since I had one of these. For those who don't know the drill, check out this tag.

Anyway, this one appeared in channel while I was watching a film. The film finished, he was still there, bothering people, who were pretending ignorance in the hope he'd go away. I indicated my presence and didn't immediately tell him to die a painful death. That seemed to be sufficient. The conversation started in the main channel:
Cut for comedic predictability )

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/247821.html - you can comment here or there.
I have mentioned this before, but now there is a shiny website for the new UK private gender clinic, operated by Dr Stuart Lorimer (also of the Charing Cross GIC and all round nice chap) and Christella Antoni (my erstwhile speech therapist - she's very good!)

They're at gendercare.co.uk

I'm declaring an interest - Stuart is a personal friend of mine, but I happen to know he has a very progressive, individual-centric approach to trans issues and is about as far from the old paternalistic model we all know and hate as you might be able to find today. If you're looking for trans-related healthcare and are worried about not having a "non-standard" narrative or identity, being judged, or not being taken seriously, you could do a lot worse than go and see him.

Update to the update: I am informed that Dr Lorimer's fees will be going up on the website shortly, but in the meantime I've been sent the text that is going to go on the webpage and will include it behind the cut.
How much it costs )

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/247747.html - you can comment here or there.
It's well known amongst the trangender community that the 2010 Equalities Act gives us a pretty raw deal, explicitly exempting us from protections that others can take for granted. In two areas in particular, employment and service provision, the act states that a job opening can require that a successful applicant is not transgender, and for provision of single sex services, or separate services for the sexes, provision can be denied to transgender people. In both cases the refusal must be "proportionate", and towards achieving a "reasonable aim", but these are cold comfort. The way the act treats transgender people is, in my view, discriminatory and something called an Equality Act should not be doing that.

Which is why I am pleased to announce that yesterday (Monday) at a meeting of Cambridge City Council's Strategy and Resources Scrutiny Committee, I successfully persuaded the councillors present to move an amendment to the Council's equality policy. In the area of employment practices, it has added:
  • We will not exclude transgender people from positions which require a gender-appropriate candidate

In the area of delivering services it adds:
  • transgender people will not be excluded from gender-appropriate single sex/sex segregated facilities operated by the council

In other words, although the Equality Act allows discrimination in these areas in certain circumstances, Cambridge City Council (somewhat famous for appointing a transgender mayor a few years ago) has stated that it will waive its rights to take advantage of those parts of the act when employing people, or providing single sex/sex segregated services. In other words, it exceeds the act's minimum requirements in this area.

It is my wish that other councils, and other service providers and employers will see this as an example of best practice and incorporate something similar into their own diversity policies.

To this end, Cambridge Liberal Democrats have put out a press release. Here it is:
cut for press release )

Actually feeling quite proud of myself for that!

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/247308.html - you can comment here or there.
It's said that one makes ones own luck. I'm sure lots of us have met people who are perpetually angry, to the point of being enraged, by life's trivia. Being directly descended from such a person (who fortunately has decided he isn't on speaking terms with me), I have noticed that quite often, such people create the means of their own rage.

I feel the need to relate a particular example that just happened to me. I was not the enraged one, but was (indirectly) the instrument of someone else's rage. I very much expect right now she's complaining to anyone who will listen about the "terrible rude and annoying woman" she met today. I'll relate the facts of what happened, and let you decide if I am indeed such a terrible woman, or whether this person was entirely responsible for their own minor inconvenience, and subsequent (and seemingly quite disproportionate) anger.

Imagine, if you will, a shopping centre. Floors 0, 1 and 2 are retail floors. Floors 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 are parking floors. I had paid my parking ticket on floor 1 and was making my way over the lift to return to my car on floor 3 (I wouldn't normally be so ecologically unsound as to drive there, given it's within walking distance, but I was passing it on the way home from elsewhere).

Standing by the lifts (for there are two - we shall call them LeftLift and RightLift) was a lady with a pushchair. Clearly not wanting to take the pushchair on the escalator down to floor zero, she had pushed the "down" button. It should be explained that LeftLift and RightLift are controlled by the same buttons - which one you get is up to the computer.

Wanting to go up, I pushed the "up" button.

By some coincidence, or perhaps design, both lifts arrived simultaneously a few moments later. A muffled sound emanates from LeftLift, "Doors opening". The same muffled sound emanates from RightLift. Above LeftLift is a display which has just stopped showing the floor number and now has an arrow pointing up. Above RightLift, the equivalent display shows an arrow pointing down.

"Going up!", announces LeftLift. "Going down!", announces RightLift.

The lady with the pushchair gets into LeftLift. I follow her in. She pushes zero, which illuminates, and keeps her finger pressed on it. She seems to be placing herself almost in the way of me accessing the panel. I am able to reach round without invading her personal space, so I do and press three.

The doors start to close. Pushchair Lady opens her mouth to speak. The words that come out are, "If this goes up, I will be really angry", but the actual meaning is clear, "I am using my eye lasers to give you cancer!"

The doors have finished closing. "The lift said it was going up, the other one had a down arrow", I volunteer.

The lift starts to rise. Pushchair lady gives me a stare designed to kill at a hundred metres.

"Oh"

She is not impressed, not impressed at all.

"Third floor! Doors opening!" I leave the lift and don't look back, but I can feel her eyes boring into my skull until the very moment the doors close. I have no idea if the lift carried on up, summoned from the upper floors. I expect that if it did, she may well have gone thremonuclear.

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/247085.html - you can comment here or there.
The Castle do have some talented setters, and they're getting quite innovative with their bouldering problems. Here are a couple from today. Firstly, a steep V0 which I climbed much more cleanly before I was filmed (always the way). Takes talent to make a route this steep, keep it as accessible as V0, and make it this much fun:



The second one is short, sweet and has 4 holds only. It's a V1 with a running jump start! The discs you see on the wall are not part of the route, so standing on them would be cheating.



Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/246877.html - you can comment here or there.
At the Liberal Democrat conference in Liverpool, on Tuesday morning, there was an hour long debate on marriage equality. This was a motion put forward by DELGA, the Lib Dem LGBT group (I've just been elected to their executive for 2011), and it does several things:
  • Extend marriage to same sex couples

  • Extend civil partnerships to mixed sex copules

  • Allow religious ceremonies for same sex marriage, at the discretion of the particular religion

  • Through amendment to the motion, allow for secular marriage celebrants as an alternative to registrars

  • Repeal the section of the Gender Recognition Act that makes it a requirement to dissolve a marriage or civil partnership before a GRC can be issued
I think this is all excellent stuff, and I'm very proud of my party for passing the motion with barely any opposition. It's now the first time a party in government has had marriage equality as a policy in the UK, and we will be pushing for this to be given legislative time in this parliament, so it would hopefully become law within the next five years.

Anyway, I put a card in to speak, specifically on the parts that pertain to modifying the GRA. They only had time to hear from one trans person, and the one picked wasn't me, but since I wrote a speech in case I was picked, it would be a shame for it to go to waste. Here, for your reading pleasure, is what I would have said (live on national TV even), had I been picked to speak:
My speech )

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/246635.html - you can comment here or there.
I'm currently at the Liberal Democrat conference in Liverpool, which is proving to be fascinating. I've been elected to serve on the executive of DELGA, the Lib Dem LGBT group, for 2011, talked one-on-one to Lynne Featherstone, Equality Minister, and attended some excellent fringe events on subjects as diverse as the role of faith and secularism in society and nuclear power (where I found out, to my surprise, that the chief exec of Renewables UK supports the building of new nuclear power stations, for reasons I found myself agreeing with).

Anyway, perhaps the most astonishing thing was this evening, at the DELGA fringe, jointly hosted with Stonewall, who are not very popular here, it seems. The panel consisted of Stonewall head honcho Ben Summerskill, Equality Minister Lynne Featherstone, Lib Dem gay MP, Stephen Gilbert and DELGA president and former MP, Dr Evan Harris. It was astonishing for what happened on the hotly debated subject of marriage equality in the UK, which Stonewall have been eerily silent on.

To cut a long story short, Ben Summerskill broke that silence by suggesting that marriage equality was too expensive, and that we would be better employed worrying about homophobic murder instead, and as he confided to me and [livejournal.com profile] zoeimogen, there are feminist arguments that marriage is inherently wrong and they need to be taken into account (last I checked, Stonewall are still claiming to be an LGB charity, not a radical feminist charity).

Anyway, Zoe has blogged about the whole thing here. You should go and read it if you are at all interested in LGBT marriage equality, seriously. It's astonishing stuff and calls into question whether someone like Summerskill should be at all involved in being a gay rights representative in the UK. I think he is deeply out of touch, and probably a liability at this point.

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/246262.html - you can comment here or there.
So I'm in my local tonight, having a drink. At the bar, the subject of me being a local councillor comes up, and the guy standing next to me asks, "Did you used to be the mayor?"

Assuming he was thinking of whom I think he was thinking of, that's quite possibly the most indirect and creative way someone has ever asked if I'm trans.

I was actually more amused than irritated.

And one day I do actually hope to be mayor of Cambridge, by the way.

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/245986.html - you can comment here or there.
I have loads. Since people seem cross with LJ again, shout in comments if you want one. First come, first served.
The toilet debate seems to have flared up on my twitter feed today, with much discussion taking place at Jack of Kent's blog.

I always find this very frustrating, but I think an important point is highlighted by the way this debate is typically framed.

The "trans people in public toilets" debate is almost always framed in terms of protecting cis women from trans women

Quite often this framing is not explicit, but is implicit in the language used to frame the issue, and in terms of what is and is not said.

Let's take Jack of Kent's framing of this issue as an example - he asks:
Or should the law relating to, say, breaches of the peace be used to prevent transgendered people, especially male to female (MTF), intruding into the "space" reserved for a particular gender?


The emphasis is mine. Now I'm not having a go at Jack of Kent here - his framing reflects wider societal attitudes, but I do think these attitudes, as displayed in the way this question is so oft approached by cis people, are inherently transphobic, and misogynist.

Firstly, there's the more obvious objection - the idea that trans women in a space reserved for women can ever be considered to be intruding. Since trans women are women, it's not possible for us to intrude into women's space, which by definition we have as much right to enter as any other woman. We can be excluded by an act of transphobia, but even asking the question of whether we should be allowed contains an assumption that trans women are not women. This is cissexist (cissexism is the statement or belief that trans people's identified genders are less authentic or less valid than the genders of cis people)

Secondly, notice the "especially" bit in there. The issue of trans men in men's toilets always seems to be considered less important. On the face of it this is perverse. Certainly here in the UK, typically women would not see each other in any state of undress when using a public toilet, because the actual act is done in a cubicle. In the gents, one would often expect to find urinals. Should one decide to deviate from the 1,3,5 rule, and also from the expectation that one should look straight ahead and not even glance sideways while using a urinal, one is afforded the opportunity to see someone else's penis. That this debate is so often framed in genital essentialist terms, that it concentrates on trans women at all is really odd, given the much greater opportunity for genital exposure in a men's loo.

This is one reason why I think this argument is misogynist. It is deemed less important that a trans man (who, it is presumed, does not have a penis - the general public tends to be quite ignorant on these matters) might see a cis man's penis than it is that a pair of adjacent locked cubicles might contain a cis woman, with vagina, and a trans woman, with penis (those trans women who are post vaginoplasty seem to be all too often conveniently ignored by this). This is presumably because men are tough, pragmatic sorts who won't be bothered by having someone who doesn't have a penis seeing theirs, but women are fragile, delicate, pathetic things and must be protected from the possibility of someone pissing through a penis the other side of a wall.

Yeah, right.

Thirdly, and I think this is the most insidiously transphobic part of the whole deal, is the unstated assumption (actually, it's not usually unstated, but in this case Jack of Kent seems to attract a better class of commenter); the "man who thinks he's a woman" might commit sexual assault/indecent exposure in there.

Corollaray - since there's no reason to expect trans women would be any more prone to doing this in a public toilet than anywhere else, we can add, where there won't be a proper man to protect the women folk! Yup, we're back to misogyny again too.

This is predicated on the idea that trans women are likely to be sex offenders. This is stigma that gay men are only just starting to emerge from - the idea that somehow being gay makes them likely to be sex offenders (if you doubt this is still an issue, take a look at how the gay adoption debate is often framed, especially in the US). With trans women, this offensive sterotype is still firmly entrenched.

The irony is enough to make one weep - I'm not aware of sexual assault ever being committed in a women's toilet by a trans woman where a cis woman is the victim. Long time readers will, however, be familiar with the case of a trans woman who was sexually assaulted at Pride London 2008, after being made to use the men's toilets by transphobic stewards. I'll also state for the record that I have also been sexually assaulted in a public toilet - in this case it was a woman's toilet and a cis woman apparently felt that grabbing my tits while I was washing my hands was a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

I know the plural of anecdote is not data, but the reality for many trans women in toilets is that we are far, far more likely to be the victim of sexual assault than the perpetrator. We are vulnerable in toilets, especially if we are read as trans - expulsion, humiliation and violence are the least of the expected consequences, but nobody ever seems to talk about how we can be protected from cis people. It's always the other way round.

Dismayingly, the way trans people are treated by the so-called Equality Act, 2010, seems to be almost completely influenced by this idea that "normal" people must be protected from trans women (I guess those responsible for drafting this repulsive piece of legislation never attended a transgender day of remembrance), and gives barely lip service to the idea that trans people, trans women especially, are vulnerable people who are often the victims of violence and discrimination and need the protection of the law.

No, instead everything is framed in terms of protecting everyone else from the distasteful idea that they might encounter us, or that "proper" women might somehow be contaminated by proximity to us. This attitude needs to change, but we seem as far away from that as ever. In the meantime we will continue to be beaten, assaulted, ridiculed and murdered by the same society that regards us as a dangerous predators.

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/245672.html - you can comment here or there.
In Cambridge, all City (District) Councillors have to do planning permission. Trivial stuff (can I put a sign in front of my shop please?) is handled by the planning officers under delegated powers. Big stuff (can I build a new shopping centre/development of 50 houses/90 acre cat flossing complex) is handled by the planning committee, and stuff in between (can I build a new bungalow in my garden/change this shop into flats/etc.) is handled by the area committees. Every councillor is on an area committee, so every councillor has to do planning.

I had my first area committee last week (technically it was my second, but my first was while I was in the US., so I had to give my apologies), and so I got to hear planning applications for the first time.

I'm not going to go into the ones we heard (if you're really interested, you can dig around on cambridge.gov.uk and find them - it's all on there). The planning applications were heard later in the evening, after we had discussed development of public facilities, policing priorities, etc., and the first thing I noticed was that a bunch of councillors thwarted the "everyone must do planning" bit by buggering off in the tea break, so if you are a Cambridge resident I would only urge you to go along to your next area committee to see if your elected representative is doing their job - there are elections to the city council 3 years out of every 4 and the next is in May 2011...

Anyway, the second thing I learned is that, despite being daunted, it's actually a really fun activity for those of a slightly geeky persuasion. The way it works is that a planning officer makes their reccomendation, and it is up to councillors whether to accept that recommendation, or diverge from it. The divergence could be something as simple as changing the conditions (e.g. "Actually, we will let you open your shop until 20:00 and not just 18:00", or "This window has to be frosted", and so on), or disregarding the recommendation completely and voting to decline permission where acceptance was recommended, or vice versa.

The catch is that you can't do this freely - there are rules, and that's where the geeky bit comes in. In addition to central government rules and guidance, there is also "The Local Plan", which is the council's own planning policy, describing what sort of development is to be done in Cambridge. Any point where you diverge from officer recommendations needs to be done in a way that can be justified by a reasonable interpretation of the Local Plan.

That bit is the best bit, IMO. Not only am I helping my community by trying to ensure the best urban environment is provided, but there's this dance of strategy going on between the councillors and the developer. The latter will want to get as much as they can with the smallest number of concessions as possible, in general, and we are there to try and keep them honest. We have to do it in such a way that anything we rule on stands up to scrutiny however, otherwise the developer could not only get the decision overturned at appeal - they may get costs awarded as well, if we are seen to have acted unreasonably.

Hopefully we can meet somewhere in the middle, in a position that everyone is reasonably happy with, and getting there is the challenge, and one that I think I'm going to quite enjoy over my term of office.

Hmm, wonder if I should apply to be on the central planning committee next year?

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/245256.html - you can comment here or there.
So Sylvia, Zoe and I just got back, enduring the awfulness of Ryanair (never again - by the time we finished paying for extras there was basically no price difference between them and a full fare airline, and the experience was just deeply unpleasant - I now firmly believe that flying with them is false economy and too stressful to boot) from a few days in the Italian Alps, where we were after an introduction to the interesting and exciting looking sport of the via ferratas.

Via ferratas were originally routes put up to help alpine troops, many of whom were unwilling conscripts, fight in the front line in the WWI front between the Austro-Hungarian Empire and Italy. Much the same sort of stuff went on as in the western front in terms of trench warfare, but this was at 9,000 feet and they needed a way of getting troops to and from the front line. This tended to involve fixing ropes, ladders and bridges to the cliffs, as well as digging tunnels through the limestone. People died in their thousands, not just from enemy action, but from harsh conditions in the mountains, where they would freeze to death, fall to their doom, or perish in avalanches.

Today many of the original via ferratas are open as routes for summer tourists, bringing money to the economy of a very remote area which normally functions as a ski resort. Rickety WWI wooden ladders and ropes have been replaced with steel, and new routes have been developed. Still, using them is not for the faint hearted, and I can only imagine how utterly terrified some of the WWI conscripts must have been.

Anyway, we took some photographs. Here are a selection:

Cut for lots of photos, but they're pretty! Go on, have a look. You know you want to! )

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/245210.html - you can comment here or there.
Disclaimer: This post might not be entirely serious, read at your own risk.

On March 3rd, 1972, NASA launched its Pioneer 10 probe. This was followed by Pioneer 11. Pioneer 10 is the one with the famous plaque showing naked human bodies on it so that the space aliens will know all about us, which is kinda cute.

In the nearly 40 years since launch, these spacecraft have gone a bloody long way, and are heading towards the heliopause.

However, something about these two probes baffles astronomers. As you might expect, the Sun's gravity is slowing them down (it shouldn't ever reclaim them - they have solar escape velocity, so they will go interstellar eventually and end up who-knows-where, in some other star system long after our species is extinct. I think Pioneer 10 is used as target practice by a Klingon in one of the Star Trek films, but I digress). The thing is, they're not slowing down as much as they should. This is known as the Pioneer Anomaly.

Scientists have proposed all sorts of explanations about why this might be. Dark matter pulling at them from outside? Our understanding of gravity or inertia being wrong? Some completely new physics? Something else?

Well, I just worked out what it is tonight. I was playing this awesome computer game on the iPad - Osmos, which is sort of a cross between Thrust and Katamari - you have this mote and it can fire off reaction mass and absorb things smaller than itself, but gets absorbed by bigger things. You have tasks on each level (usually becoming big, or absorbing a specific target). One set of levels features "attractors". This is basically where there is a central object on the level which exerts gravity, and everything orbits round it. You have to have some knowledge of how orbits work to do these levels - going away from the "star" by speeding up, changing your eccentricity, that sort of thing.

One of them has a goal of absorbing the attractor itself, and when you do something odd happens - everything else in the system stops orbiting and leaves the system on a tangential path, because once you absorb the attractor, gravity disappears.

In other words, the motes have inertial mass, but not gravitational mass. The only thing with gravitation mass is the attractor.

There is a reason for this - doing a gravitational simulation of an N-body system, where N is large (and these levels start off with hundreds or even thousands of motes) gets computationally hard really fast. There's no way the iPad with its impressive but still quite small processor (I worked for the company which designed it in a former life) could handle the maths quickly enough, so it cheats. Mostly you don't notice. except when the attractor disappears and gravity suddenly fails, because the cheat is close enough.

Various people have proposed that our universe is some kind of computer simulation. It seems likely by the sheer weight of numbers. The argument goes that we're getting quite good at computer technology, and can envisage a day when computers are really really good, and we could build one so huge, and so massively parallel, and so vastly powerful that it would be able to perform a physics simulation of an entire universe.

Take this one step further, and it would follow that intelligent life would eventually arise inside the simulation, if it has similar rules to our universe, and start building its own virtual computers. The organisms being simulated would not know they were simulations, of course - how could they? Eventually they would build a virtual computer powerful enough to simulate a universe of their own, and so it would repeat, all the way down, like Russian doll universes, with only the outermost actually being real.

Of course, if the simulations were done well enough then each universe's inhabitants would think they were living in the real one, but only one universe out of thousands, or even millions, would be right.

The odds are, therefore, that our universe is a simulation.

But this is ultimately solipsistic, or at least along similar lines. We can't know whether it's true, and even if it is we can't tell, so it's a philosophically pointless position.

Or is it?

See, I reckon the temptation might be to simulate a universe before your computer was powerful enough to do it properly. Consider if you were alive 10,000 years from now with scary powerful computer technology, and capitalism still exists and you want to make the ultimate computer game - a full immersion computer game which simulates a whole universe for players to get lost in. It would of course be populated with AIs (us), to make the game more interesting. Maybe you could rule over them as their god and torment them in interesting ways, and see if they still worship you or something equally sadistic (there's this iPhone game like that - it's quite good fun!)

You'd want to get this to market before your competitors could, to maximise your profits and fame, so you're tempted to cut corners a bit. In particular, you can make things go much faster if you don't do gravity properly. You just need to make it convincing enough that it looks real to your player, and your AIs. In other words, you cheat like mad to lower the minimum system requirements and hope nobody uncovers the corner cases.

That's why the Pioneers are speeding up. Our universe is a computer game, and the program isn't doing gravity properly.

It's a brilliant theory - it even explains George W Bush!

Where do I get my Nobel Prize?

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/244763.html - you can comment here or there.
I am weary

I am weary because too many trans people have to wait 2-3 years after seeing their doctor in desperation before they receive medication which helps, and which costs pennies.

I am weary because too many of them will never even get a referral, due to trusting people who let their own prejudice fail their patients.

I am weary of Primary Care Trusts perpetually treating trans people as low priority, or in some cases flagrantly disregarding our humanity and the law.

I am weary that those who do this are almost certain to face no consequences because they know that trans people are a soft target.

I am weary because trans people must face a process that often seems to be designed like an obstacle course, aimed at preventing the deluded from transitioning, and which allows us through as a side effect.

I am weary because those who genuinely want to help are few and far between, and are themselves subject to the same frustrating constraints.

I am weary because even when we make it out the other end, everything we have can be taken away from us in an instant, when someone decides we are "really" our assigned-at-birth gender.

I am weary because all of this simply reflect a society that mostly sees us as comic relief, dangerous sexual perverts, disposable or merely pathetic.

I am weary because the very people who might be expected to help all too often use trans people as scapegoats for their own failings instead.

I am weary because it sometimes feels like our medical history and bodies are public property.

I am weary because to try and shout about the injustice of this is to invite condescension and dismissal.

I am weary because those who tell us we can't expect society to change right away would likely not accept a tenth of this if it applied to them.

I am weary because it feels like none of this will ever change sometimes.

But I know that I currently feel much of this because I have a virus thing, and well, that just makes me weary, and I know that in a few days I'll feel better, and I'll be thankful that I'm one of the lucky ones, that I managed to hold on to my life and my social status, and am in an environment that insulates me from much of the crap I might otherwise face, and that it could be much worse.

Anyway, this is absolutely not a play for sympathy. I am aware of how immensely privileged I am, but I'm still allowed to feel a bit sorry for myself occasionally, and writing this down helps me feel better, so there.

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/244499.html - you can comment here or there.
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