Chattin' With a Chaser, Part 3 in a Regular Series

[clovehitched]

Long time readers will remember the drill here. I hang out in an IRC channel for trans people. Every so often a trannychaser, someone (always male in this context) who has a fetish about trans people (always trans women in this context), and needs his fix now, damnit, wanders in.

Yesterday's fitted the form pretty well. He started out in channel with the usual:

[11:50] john: hi, any tg girls here?
[11:52] john: hi, any cute tg girls around here?

He was then told the usual, it's not a dating channel, blah blah. We explain that we're abslutely 100% not interested in trannychasers, and that we're actually quite annoyed by them. But he has an errection! He's not deterred by that! He then does what they pretty much always do - he starts private messaging various people in the channel.

I seem to be a prime target for this next bit, which is unfortunate for the chaser. This is probably because my IRC nickname, "sarahlizzy", may evoke images of a lingerie clad nymph for the poor chaser, rather than this sort of thing:


(It's OK - the drop was 30-40 metres, but I've tied myself to those nice sturdy chains, so I can peer over the edge and merely think I'm going to die, rather than actually dying.)

Anyway, sarahlizzy is merely a contraction of "Sarah Elizabeth", which is the name that's on my birth certificate, so if it looks "pretty and feminine" it's not my fault (terms and conditions may apply).

Enough beating around the bush (er, perhaps an unfortunate choice of words in the circumstances); here's the chat log of my PM chat with him. Emphasis is mine:

john: hi
[11:55] sarahlizzy: Hello
[11:56] john: so what exactly r u if u don't mind the question?
[11:56] sarahlizzy: About 5'9
[11:56] john: ok
[11:57] john: i mean in terms of sexuality
[11:57] sarahlizzy: Let me see
[11:58] sarahlizzy: I think I'd use words like exhibitionist, kinky, passionate and dyke

This never works to dissuade them. All lesbians are just waiting to be straightened out, by the right guy, right?

[11:58] sarahlizzy: Also, I quite like tea
[11:58] john: i like tea as well
[11:58] sarahlizzy: It's good, isn't it?
[11:58] john: yep
[11:58] sarahlizzy: I notice you don't use capital letters. Is this because you're typing with one hand?
[11:59] john: it's because im lazy
[11:59] sarahlizzy: Oh, OK. Laziness can be a virtue, I think
[11:59] john: so u r a natural woman?
[12:00] sarahlizzy: Like the song?
[12:00] sarahlizzy: Or do you mean, do I occur in the universe?
[12:00] sarahlizzy: Because I like to think so

He's struggling a bit here. Poor guy seems to have trouble talking to other human beings women. Let's give him a helpful hint for making this conversation go a little better.

[12:01] sarahlizzy: (Here's a tip - if you want a straight answer, ask a straight question)
[12:01] john: have u been with a guy before?

Wow, finally a direct and to the point question. Is there hope for John? Perhaps I'm not, you know, exclusively lesbian. Well, as it happens I'm not, but exceptions made are few and far between.

[12:01] sarahlizzy: I've had sex with a man, yes
[12:01] sarahlizzy: Have you?

Quid pro quo here - it's only fair.

[12:02] john: not really
[12:02] sarahlizzy: Would you like to?
[12:02] john: and u decided u prefer girls
[12:02] sarahlizzy: I'm told by my gay male friends that it can be quite pleasurable
[12:03] sarahlizzy: I wouldn't say I "prefer" girls. It's not really something I sat down and thought about.

Jeeze John, when I'm in the mood for getting my rocks off with teh pretteh, writing a thesis about my sexuality is about the last thing on my mind. Actually, writing anything coherent is quite far from my thoughts when I'm taking a lustful turn - you of all people should know this...

[12:03] sarahlizzy: It's just that my usual sexual partners end up being women more often than not
[12:03] sarahlizzy: Quite a lot more often than not
[12:03] sarahlizzy: >_>
[12:03] sarahlizzy: <_<

OK, I actually need to be somewhere else, like on a train to London, so let's hurry this along:

[12:04] sarahlizzy: So you like trans women then?
[12:04] sarahlizzy: Seually I mean?
[12:04] sarahlizzy: Sexually even - I think there's a crumb underneath my X key
[12:04] john: so if u walk down the street would u fancy to get to know a good looking guy?
[12:04] sarahlizzy: No, normally if I walk down the street it's because I'm trying to get somewhere
[12:05] sarahlizzy: So any good looking guys, crowds of people, lampposts, dogs, newspaper vendors, etc. in the way tend to be an unwlecome distraction
[12:05] john: i had a trans girlfriend and i liked it
[12:06] sarahlizzy: Taste of her cherry chapstick?
[12:06] john: sometimes
[12:06] sarahlizzy: Fascinating
[12:06] sarahlizzy: Anyway, look, I really have to go and shower
[12:07] john: would love to join

In your fracking dreams (or worst nightmare, perhaps), Johnny-boy.

[12:07] sarahlizzy: That seems quite forward
[12:07] sarahlizzy: I can give you a photograph instead?

They normally ask for a photograph earlier, so I have to stall them before delivering the coup de grace, because it has this habit of making them log off the server within seconds when I do.

[12:08] john: the real deal is better but if u have a nice pic i will take it
[12:08] sarahlizzy: http://www.sarahlizzy.com/SarahPhoto.jpg

That's me in hospital immediately post SRS. It's sorta worksafe - there's no nudity or anything in it. I do rather look like crap in it though. Chasers are almost exclusively interested in ladypole - they generally think that SRS "ruins" trans women, and also, the whole "getting the penis cut off" thing seems to snap them out of their would-be masturbation session quite quickly.

[12:09] sarahlizzy: That's just after they eviscerated my penis and turned what was left inside out
[12:09] sarahlizzy: So I'm not at my best
[12:09] sarahlizzy: The red tubes are for draining blood. The white and blue one is for urine
[12:09] john: i can't see it

That's right John, there's a magic filter that prevents you accidentally looking at pictures of post op women while you're looking for your shemale porn - AI has come on so much of late.

[12:10] sarahlizzy: Shame
[12:10] sarahlizzy: Anyway, tata
[12:10] john disconnected from the server.

That was entirely unexpected.


Originally posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/206890.html - you can comment here or there.

Comments

[cyberspice.livejournal.com]

I must have some kind of 'keep away' field going on. They always go for you and not for me :-)

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

It's the lingerie-clad nymph thing, I'm sure. Try changing your nick to marybeth or something.

[fyremane.livejournal.com]

so evil and so very creative dear lady.

[wiriamu.livejournal.com]

Once again, well played!

[notintheseheels.livejournal.com]

[11:56] john: so what exactly r u if u don't mind the question?
[11:56] sarahlizzy: About 5'9
Hahaha, brilliant.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Oh Lord! Are there really that many male divots hanging around such groups?

For myself, I simply couldn't be asked to be bothered with them.

Maybe I was luckier than I realised in transitioning years before things like 'pooters were widely available?

You are a brave, brave woman..............

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Oh Lord! Are there really that many male divots hanging around such groups?

I wouldn't say they hang around per-se. They come on, ask personal questions, start bothering people, we mock them and they go away.

You are a brave, brave woman..............

Aw, thanks, but there's no way he could have worked out where I live...

[techiebabe.livejournal.com]

Whois.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

He can't even find the shift key though.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

...although that is a good point. Perhaps I should start using a domain where I've opted out of the database for this sort of thing.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

In the pre 'pooter days I helped person a computer helpline for deperate, suicidal transpeeps and these numpties would turn up there too (can you believe it?) knowing we had precious little real protection from the powers that were and none from anyone else much really asking what I was wearing.

My usual reply was 'A leather mini skirt, toe tectors and a string vest' (ironically that sort of thing is now fashionable :o)

I was pre op too! Oh boy............

[scattermoon.livejournal.com]

Heehee. Nicely done, nicely done :D

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to decide whether Ladypole or Eviscerated Penis would be the better band name.

I'd dearly love to be a fly on the wall at a meeting between a contingent of these guys and a bevy of trans-man-chasing lesbians.

[alicephilippa.livejournal.com]

Eviscerated Penis has a certain ring to it really.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Despite all they might be expected to have in common, I suspect extreme cognitive dissonance would set in.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm sure, but I reckon that one or two of them might suddenly get it, and that's always interesting to see. (I remember a very conservative Christian American friend suddenly discovering the concept of cultural appropriation while looking at a window display of Wild West tchotchkes in Munich.)

Chasers are almost exclusively interested in ladypole - they generally think that SRS "ruins" trans women, and also, the whole "getting the penis cut off" thing seems to snap them out of their would-be masturbation session quite quickly.

Wow, this is so familiar to this cis woman. "The only thing that's important about a woman's body is whether it attracts men. Women clearly have no reason to ever change their bodies except for male approval, and it's nonsensical for a woman to have her own plans for her body that may not appeal to men."

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is so familiar to this cis woman. "The only thing that's important about a woman's body is whether it attracts men. Women clearly have no reason to ever change their bodies except for male approval

I think you've pretty much put your finger on it - it wouldn't occur to them that they're being disrespectful because there's obviously nothing to disrespect; we're (women in general) just life support systems for our tits and genitals.

The story of the conservative American suddenly finding himself on the receiving end of cultural appropriation appeals to my sense of humour :-)

[the-local-echo.livejournal.com]

we're (women in general) just life support systems for our tits and genitals.

A prime example I came across recently was one of those "light-hearted non-IT articles" on The Register, about a pro female tennis player who was going to have a breast reduction because she had a very large chest which got in the way of her tennis game and caused her problems. Now, a little joke about it being a sad day for male spectators is one thing, but the amount of vitriol, scaremongering and ignorance amongst the guys commenting on the article made me sick to my stomach. Will she say, "Oh, wow, I made this life-changing decision after years of talking to coaches, doctors and sports physiotherapists, but now I'm changing my mind because a guy on the internet has told me there are these things called "sports bras" that I can wear instead! They'll do the job, and keep my fans happy!"

It made me resolve to stick to the boring work-related articles there in future, for the sake of my blood pressure :-(

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Ladypole is the band, Eviscerated Penis is the name of their first album.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Snerk! Sprays tea across room :o)

So come on then Jessie- what's the second album going to be called? :op

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Perpetual Dilation

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

No, that's the one when they went on tour.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

You just know there has to be a computer game tie-in:

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

"Curse the size of the Donor Material! I can only get up to yellow : ("

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

*comfort*

Have you seen those show-offs who post youtube vids of them doing all 5 on expert mode, blindfolded, in Thailand?

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Obviously they hacked the game.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

With a scalpel?

For the ultimate challenge, you can add a bit of tabasco to the lube.

Lost inside you'll never find, lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on

So far away we wait for the day
For the lives all so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on

[newdance.livejournal.com]

You're an odd and entertaining person -- especially for a lady.

I like that.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

You're an odd and entertaining person -- especially for a lady.

Thanks, I think?

[newdance.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that "-- ..." bit was more of a personal joke about myself.

This means I'm a crazy person talking to himself on your LiveJournal. :-O

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

*grin*

(sorry, hit wrong icon thinger)

[newdance.livejournal.com]

OK, I'm sorry, I've been weird and rude. Sorry. Take care.

Re: (sorry, hit wrong icon thinger)

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's OK. We're good!

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Inversion, of course.

[the-local-echo.livejournal.com]

Eviscerated Penis is the name of their first album.

Heehee - I'm sure there could be some lovely designs for the cover art on that!

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

I see a cucumber on the front, framed in surgical drapes. Then just the skin of the cucumber on the back, perhaps a scalpel almost out of frame and a few shreds of cucumber insides on the surgical drapes.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

I know! I should never have asked :op

[becky44.livejournal.com]

You reminded me of a perv from a dating site! He contacted me at 1 am on messenger - he was drunk, stoned out of his mind - and was absolutely certain that I wanted nothing else than to get in the car and drive round to his place for him to give me the time of my life!

Ok - red rags and bulls comes to mind.... so I switched mode to 'joyce Grenfell' and let rip! The poor bastard got awfully confused..... and signed off 3 hours later. The following afternoon, I was reading my eamils with my Mum, over at my parents place, and he sent me a series of images.... of himself in a fluorescent green posing pouch.... that was far too small! Dad couldn't understand what these howls of laughter were - exploding from the study!

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

Very well played there!

[daddysambiguity.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO. You are great at this!

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you! :-)