Fun and Games With Cold Callers

[clovehitched]

So I'm in the bathroom, doing ... bathroom stuff, and the landline rings.

Now pretty much everyone knows that if they want to call me, they should call my mobile. Indeed, hardly anyone has my landline number, and it's usually only only either my mother or Sylvia's mother, both of whom seem to have this strange and quaint attraction to 19th century technology.

At this time of day, it's far more likely to be someone trying to sell me new double glazing (telling them I'm in a conservation area and must have wooden sash windows, and that my house is only 7 years old, and no, they really don't need replacing usually breaks them a bit, even though this is all completely true), so I make no hurry to finish what I'm doing.

The phone keeps ringing though, and it's still ringing when I come out, so I pick it up.

Me: Hello?
Phone: .... peep ....
Me: Hello?
Phone: .............. peep ....
Me: Heeeeeeeeelo?
Phone: peep .................

This is clearly one of those call centres that dials loads of numbers and hangs up excess ones if there's no operator available. I hang up. A few seconds later, I pick up the phone again:

Phone: .... peep ....

So I hang up again, and wait, and wait, and pick up the phone again:

Phone: .... peep ....
Me: launches iTunes on laptop
Me: Finds some Nightwish, puts the phone next to the speaker, and hits, "play"
Laptop: Faster! A dentist! Hard porn! Seven seagulls! Wario! This eyeball! In me, the fishmaster! (or something like that, anyway)

This continues for a minute or so:

Laptop: Feeeeeshmaster ohhhhhh, eeeeeeeeeow wheeeeeeeooooeeeeee, oooooo ahhhhhh!
Me: Puts phone to ear
Voice on phone: Hello?

I hang up, feeling like a naughty child and barely able to contain my sniggering. They're gone now.

Comments

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

If enough people were to put telespammers on hold they'd soon run out of outgoing lines from their call centre and then not be able to bother anyone.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

We're ex directory and signed up to the telephone preference service and guess what? No cold calls.........:o)

[woodpijn.livejournal.com]

We have no landline and guess what? No cold calls :)

Parents can adapt to 21st century technology if you give them no choice.

[vashti.livejournal.com]

Me too, both, and I still get them. Usually they're automated and American and spam my (old - it has a tape) answerphone.

I am very tempted to junk my landline, all I ever get on it is parents and spam.