Agoraphobia

[clovehitched]

This is an actual photograph of the sky today over Cambridge. I took it with my iPhone (no, I don't know if it's in focus or not). Today is the hottest day this year so far - it feels more like summer than spring. There are no clouds in the sky at all.

Cambridge is right under the northern edge of the London Terminal Manoeuvring Area - one of the most complex and busiest pieces of controlled airspace in the world. It's a large area covering London and much of the south east, from which "legs" drop down to Earth, most notably at London's main airports - Heathrow, Gatwick, Stansted and London City. It's normally crawling with planes. This means that on a clear day in Cambridge, the sky would normally contain several contrails.

Today there are none. Apart from the Sun, the sky is a featureless blue void. I was out canvassing this morning, and I was actually finding this really unnerving. I kept getting this feeling of void around me, as if I was expecting to have a visual reference point in the corner of my vision in the sky - something I could focus on occasionally, at least subconsciously, but nothing was there.

At times it felt like I could fall up into the sky and vanish in that blue void of nothing. There's a brilliant bit in one of Ian M Banks Culture short stories which mentions that Culture citizens, used to living on orbitals where there is no horizon (because the surface is concave rather than convex) get agoraphobic when they find themselves on a planet - they feel like they're going to fall off.

Today I feel a bit like that, and it's freaking me out quite a lot. Can we have just a couple of little clouds, please?

Also posted at http://auntysarah.dreamwidth.org/234504.html - you can comment here or there.

Comments

"What was life like when we still flew?"

[darkwaterfairy.livejournal.com]

Is it wrong that part of me is wishing for Eyjafjallajökull to rule long and eractically. A difficult shedwater we need imposing on us, shall we say.

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[arkady.livejournal.com]

It likely will; last time it erupted was in 1821, and it carried on erupting until 1823. Plus the last two times it erupted, it set off the nearby (and much bigger) Katla.

I'm thinking we'll likely see a change to the Australian model of using piston-props for internal flights within Europe.

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[darkwaterfairy.livejournal.com]

Erm, calm down.

I'm not stupid, I know perfectly well the trouble it would cause, my vocation was nuclear & power engineering and I'm a transport geek so I'm well aquianted with the "glacial" timespans such changes or implementation take (although we do take far more time to do them in the UK than is neccessary), and I'm fairly reliant on airmail for hormones and psych meds that the NHS refuses to prescribe.

I never I said I thought, in the round, it was the best idea, I was just thinking a flight of fancy aloud. (pun not intended)

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[danaelaurm.livejournal.com]

Having checked some of my deliveries when I was in the US, I'm not even entirely sure converting from air to sea would affect extremely significantly; customs and processing take a significant time, while the additional time from boat would be in the order of one or two weeks for the trip. Then again, this kinda kills "express" deliveries, though.

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[danaelaurm.livejournal.com]

There's a problem though, the world doesn't do slow and gradual, it does slow and sudden burst most of the time, we kept the air travel model running even when air flight is so frequently disrupted, and air travel isn't so essential to the economy that it could total it; the world hasn't forgotten how to build trains and ships, and it's not like a zeppelin would be as affected since low altitude isn't affected; short range flight could see an increase in Cessnas and, well, a lot of African lines must be keeling over with laughter since their beat up 50 years old planes would be low altitude enough to run, sure it won't do transatlantic flight except by way of a liaison like Monrovia-Natal, but it still covers the needs for short range ones.

Cargo capacity in rail transport is also underused in a lot of countries due to the trucking model, which also deserves to be brought out and shot in the middle term. At worst it might cause a short term recession again, at best it might be even easier to recover from than bank bubbles bursting because this can actually be fixed by throwing money at it since it's an almost purely infrastructure issue.

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[krissie-r.livejournal.com]

We used to, and then Thatcher took it off the rails (the cargo, I mean... but you'd be forgiven for thinking I meant the rest of it lol)

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[corvidity.livejournal.com]

that's the feeling i had after 9-11. the skies were empty and quiet. very not like Atlanta. the whole experience was very unnerving...everyone kept staring at the skies...

Re: "What was life like when we still flew?"

[darkwaterfairy.livejournal.com]

*nod*

We're sadly fucked for the meantime in that regard, as many key parts of the network are severely overloaded due to our old friends underinvestment and rationalisation. Crossrail is proving to be contensous amongst the rail industry, not as to if it's needed, but that when it's trains come out the tunnels onto the existing network they are going to gobble up the few remaining freight paths on several lines.

Relatedly the 'unspoken' truth about HS2 (part1) which explains the questionable focus on shortening Brum's 1hr15 connection to London by 30mins is that the WCML is chockablock and it's so important for freight even the government is too fearful to steal it's freight paths for passenger traffic. So long distance and express passenger traffic jumps to HS2 (with lots of room spare) freeing up the WCML for more freight and local trains.

If we applied a progressive approach to things, even given the fecking self-fulfilling prophecy, sorry, recession, we'd be breaking ground on HSLs all over the place as relief lines, albeit ones rated at 140 mph or more.

[emilydm.livejournal.com]

"At times it felt like I could fall up into the sky and vanish in that blue void of nothing."

This isn't about airplanes, but it struck a nerve with me. I had constant inner-ear problems as a child, so my brain takes almost entirely visual cues as to which direction is "down". Thus I had to get a doctor's note to let me out of the gymnastics part of PE in school, as I cannot bear to be upside-down, especially in a large room. Upside-down outdoors is right out. Panic attacks galore.

GTrransatlantic jet flight is impractical?

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

I therefore propose a ready-made solution (http://www.airliners.net/photo/Trans-Canada-Air-Lines/Lockheed-L-1049G-02-Super/1087432/L/).

Re: GTrransatlantic jet flight is impractical?

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Yes!

Re: GTrransatlantic jet flight is impractical?

[blahflowers.livejournal.com]

I was going to suggest (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3282/2835337587_11cbe55b06_m.jpg)...

[amphibian23.livejournal.com]

The particular shade of blue - so strong it almost made me confused as to whether I was seeing dark rain clouds in the distance - really struck me today.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

We had a simliar sky here yesterday and the weirdest bit was no contrails (we're under the high pass cross runway flightpaths to Europe from Gatwick, Heathrow and LCA)

Don't worry I've found it-

[darkwaterfairy.livejournal.com]

was down the back of sofa in Wales

Re: Don't worry I've found it-

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

That must have been BA's test flight.

I can relate to your agoraphobia

[philmriv.livejournal.com]

Hi!

I am very agoraphobic too. I liked your posts!

I struggled for years with it, it's a tough one. It's hard to get help for that problem, most therapists will not do home visits.

(Here is a little known secret)-- Did you know that there are agoraphobia (and social anxiety) telephone support groups? (http://www.healsocialanxiety.com)

It's been very helpful to be able to talk to fellow agoraphobics (although you don't have to talk in the groups, you can also just listen).

The groups are provided by the nonprofit organization, Social Anxiety Anonymous.

Re: I can relate to your agoraphobia

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Hi, thanks for your message. I don't think I'd describe myself as an agoraphobic - the feeling I got was nervousness about the void, and it certainly wasn't something that was causing me sufficient distress to interfere with what I was trying to do, or stop me going out. Just a touch of agoraphobia, perhaps.

Curiously, it was more or less the same feeling that I get when my acrophobia kicks in - a feeling that I'm surrounded by void, and could get sucked into it and into oblivion. Climbing and canyoneering may seem like odd choices of hobbies for an acrophobiac (and I definitely do describe myself as one of those), but I think it's my way of facing my fear and taking back control. I appreciate this is not an option for many though/