In Which I Rant A Little

[clovehitched]

So a conversation develops in an IRC channel about post-op regret, and it starts me on one of my hobby horses. Thing is, I have been asked by several medical professionals whether I regret vaginoplasty (or "the sex change op", to use the vernacular). Some of these had no connection with the surgical procedure in question, and I cannot fathom any way in which the answer would have affected the care I was receiving from them at the time, so I tend to infer that the question is driven by noseyness, morbid fascination with genitals, and more than a little cissexism (the belief that the identified genders of cis people are more valid or authentic than those of trans people).

These uncharitable suspicions towards random doctors of whom I have, from time to time, been a patient, is made worse by the fact that none of them have asked me if I regret having had an endoscopic nasal polypectomy; this includes the ENT specialist who performed the follow-up to that same surgery.

So I sense a little bit of a double standard here. The answer to the question I keep getting asked by doctors is, "No". The answer I sometimes want to give is, "Does it affect what you're about to do?"

When really irritated, the answer I think I'd like to give is, "Mind your own sodding business. Anyway, so what if I do? There are far worse things than having to sit to piss. Three billion people, give-or-take, have to and, you know, joining their ranks was hardly the worst thing that could have happened to me in my life. Also, given the state that I remember most gents being in, especially the ones in pubs, it might make the world a better place if the other three billion joined us."

Hmm, it occurs that I might want to add "misogyny" to that list of reasons I've been asked.

So anyway, my plea to the medical community is, either stop asking me if I regret vaginoplasty, because I don't, or start asking me if I regret nasal polypectomy, because I do (it made my post nasal drip worse, and I'm now on far more drugs to deal with that little issue than I am for anything trans-related), and nobody has actually bothered to find out.

That is all.

Comments

[darkwaterfairy.livejournal.com]

I think if I was to be in that situation, I'd wish to be more direct and cutting (or at least launch in that manner), responding with something along the lines of "Why? Do you believe I shouldn't have been allowed it"?

*adds 'compulsory workshop for Doctors on Autonomy & Agency' to big list of demands to make*

[cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com]

See the mess in Aus at the moment.

http://cheshire-bitten.livejournal.com/223929.html

grumble, grumble.

[biascut.livejournal.com]

Yeah - on a related note, I was going to say I propose adding "have overdosed on media favourite *I regret sex-change-op, says former truck-driver/beauty queen/politician/alcoholic/delete as appropriate*" to that list, too.

"Transwoman really very satisfied with level of care provided, except for one or two bits that could definitely have been done better" doesn't make for nearly such a good headline.

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

My answer would be "Not at all. You should try it."

[paulathomas.livejournal.com]

This is curious. I have never been asked that question by anyone.

Suggested answer - the only thing I don't like about my gender reassignment is being asked that damn fool question for the millionth bloody time!! Now would you get on with what I came here for so I can geet on with penning my letter of complaint to the GMC about the harassment and transphobia I have just been subjected to by you.

But then the fact that I have a feisty rep might have something to do with why I haven't been asked.

[tartful-dodger.livejournal.com]

The misogny element is an interesting one.

I reckon there's probably a big ol' slab of penile superiority complex shining through there. I couldn't say for certain but I bet transguys who have had lower surgery don't get asked that nearly so much. Our society does prety much run on the assumption that the world is divided into those with dicks and those without dicks, defining women through absence rather than presence, and probably therefore more likely to view a vaginoplasty.

I think that's why I think your term 'getting muffed' is so awesome. It sounds like a very positive thing based on gain rather than chopped, de-whatevered etc etc which is all about absence. :)

[techiebabe.livejournal.com]

My experience of surgeons is that they reckon whatever's wrong with you can be fixed by surgery. Hernia? No problem, we can fix that. Appendix problems? Never mind, we can whip it out.

They are probably confused by "sex change" surgery as there was nothing wrong with the way your penis operated. (Missing the point that the problem was its existence, of course.) Maybe they see vaginoplasty as an indulgence.

So I would just say "No more than having any other part of me fixed that wasn't working right!" and give them a beaming smile.

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

I've had a number of irrelevant questions about other aspects of my transition asked by medical practitioners, but I don't think any have asked whether I regretted having my operations. However, before transition, lots of doctors asked why I had got myself sterilised when I was 26 and whether I regretted that.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Entertainingly, the first time I gave blood after SRS, one of the nurses said to me, "Do you regret..." and at this point, I'm thinking, "here we go again", when she came out with, "...having your ears pierced?"

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

yes i do

bloody things never healed properly!

[gender-euphoric.livejournal.com]

i kinda regret previously having my ears triple pierced. i don't wear jewelry in them but still, not too many guys with 6 earring holes. :P
though it could be worse. i could have a rainbow double women's symbol tattoo to hide.

[moonspark.livejournal.com]

I kinda do. lol.

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

since when did being female mean you have to sit to piss???

I know tons of women who stand up to piss.
I once met a drunk woman who had hitched up her skirt and dropped her knickers and was pissing across an alleyway against a wall

don't confuse social convention for reality is my view

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

You may decide to refer to not wandering around with urine soaked legs and clothes as "social convention". I couldn't possibly comment...

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

um that may happen to you
that doesn't happen to the women I know
they don't get urine soaked legs or clothes

and btw that includes women who've had srs

i knew a couple of mates who could piss into beer glasses whilst standing on chairs and i don't know many men who could do that.

sitting down to piss is a western social convention which probably grew to hits height with the victorian period and the idea that women should act modestly

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Trans man, no hook-up, and it happens to me and most of the FAAB people I know.

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

huh
trans man??
no hook up???
me confused
FAAB people

[snakey.livejournal.com]

You know what a trans man is, I'm assuming...at least, I hope so!

A hook-up is a rerouting of the urethra associated with meta which enables a trans man to piss standing without using an STP.

FAAB is female assigned at birth.

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

ok and how does any of that relate to women peeing standing up?

I know transmen pee whilst standing up using a variety of methods, didn't know about a hook-up- that's interesting, its good to see surgery is advancing

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Since my urethra is exactly the same as those of cis women and post-op trans women, my experiences of the difficulties of peeing standing up without an stp seem pretty damn relevant....

Also, I am not a "transman". I am a trans man.

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

sorry I'm a dyslexiac women who cant type perfectly b

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

um well it doesn't happen to other FAAB people i know and also oe of the people i was describing there now identifies as male

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Hmm, it happened to most of the FAAB people I attended girls' schools with for fifteen years...weird.

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

i think it's a matter of application of muscle control, one that gets better the more you practice it, also from observation a really full bladder is useful

[snakey.livejournal.com]

A lot of it also depends on your precise physical configuration, which obviously varies hugely amongst cis women, amongst trans women and amongst trans men (and FAAB genderqueers). Labial size and shape, clitoral/dick size, stuff like that - I piss standing up (without an stp) most of the time because of dysphoria, but I would not do it if I were not able to stand over the toilet, and in practical terms it would often be easier to sit down as it does not require, for eg, to put your trousers completely round your ankles.

[meegosh.livejournal.com]

I am the same as snakey - and with the amount of time I spend in the woods, trust me I have practised. It is not possible for me to pee standing up without either getting urine down my leg or using a device. I suspect you know the lucky ones. Since everything I know about that part of biology suggests that the arrangement etc of stuff down there varies between every single individual.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Muscle control my arse. Some days it's simply in bidet-mode, and there's nothing I can do about it.

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Unless I grow muscles in my post-T labia (which have a tendency to channel urine in strange directions) muscle control just gonna cut it....

[moonspark.livejournal.com]

Bidet mode?

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Arsewashing, I'm guessing....

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Yup!

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

i knew a couple of mates who could piss into beer glasses whilst standing on chairs

What interesting circles you move in.

[x-mass.livejournal.com]

yes i have found that

the dyke community is a wonderful thing

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

I think you and I know different lesbians...

[(Anonymous)]

I get ya x-mass, I can't help but think this 'women don't possibly pee standing up' is a misogynist thing arising from spending so much time living under the apprehension that 'standing up to wee is just so unladylike'.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

I. Don't. Like. Wet. Legs.

[snakey.livejournal.com]

omg everyone with a short urethra is a woman eleventy-one!

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Quite.

And "unladylike" - WTF? Accepting certain physical realities is not patriarchy, any more than walking round with piss stained jeans (or urinating into pint pots - I like to go to nice pubs a second time) is striking a blow for the sisterhood.

*boggle*

[natalie-456.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

although I offer hugs for the post-op-nasal-stuff :( x