Also the setting of transman chic on the shoulders of trans men, rather than the lesbain chassers most of us want nothing to do with.

Yeah, this. I mean, I am sure there are guys who love attention and play to it (though I have only a tiny bit of experience in culturally-lesbian circles really and I found it all pretty uncomfortable and baffling anyway, so please don't assume I know what I'm talking about here), but I've also known plenty of trans men who are like "um, yeah... I uh, would rather not be found sexy if you get to transform me from boy to girl in your head depending on what's hip today, thanks."

I think that gets kind of erased. Or turned into There's Good Trans Men (who hate this) and There's Bad Trans Men (who play to this), rather than acknowledging that people don't always and ever react to other people's fuckedupedness in an ideally heroic way, and that may not mean they don't also find it fucked up.

There's these things called ambiguous reactions that I think get really lost when we're in the Identity Trenches.