I doubt anyone likes being told "you can't say that" either, especially when they felt they where perfectly fine and right to say it.
Yeah, that. If you'd grown up calling yourself a snerd and calling your friends snerds and having snerd parties, and as far as you knew it was kind of a sarcastic term, but fun, and suddenly someone said "Hey, snerd is a horrible, horrible slur for people like me! Stop it! Stop it!" you just might be baffled, or angry, or annoyed too much to respond rationally.
Especially if people responded to your "hey, but I'm a snerd" with "AHA YOU'RE THE OPPRESSOR!"
I don't think "tranny" is worth people who were "raised" (by which I mean who discovered the trans community and only heard people use it in that positive but sarcastically hip way -- and FWIW, the sarcastically hip people I first discovered who used it for themselves were both trans men and trans women, so I only recently discovered how deeply it bothers so many other trans women) to use it hanging on to it. I think hanging on to it is kind of juvenile, honestly.
But I also think this sound and fury over it's a little odd. I could be speaking purely from privilege here, but the sheer epicness of the drama strikes me as out of proportion to the crime. It reminds me of the times we lash out at those closest to us, because, in a way, it's safe. Often, for many, it's easier to point out the faults of close allies/friends than it is to challenge those who don't have anything in common with us.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-07-22 01:37 am (UTC)Yeah, that. If you'd grown up calling yourself a snerd and calling your friends snerds and having snerd parties, and as far as you knew it was kind of a sarcastic term, but fun, and suddenly someone said "Hey, snerd is a horrible, horrible slur for people like me! Stop it! Stop it!" you just might be baffled, or angry, or annoyed too much to respond rationally.
Especially if people responded to your "hey, but I'm a snerd" with "AHA YOU'RE THE OPPRESSOR!"
I don't think "tranny" is worth people who were "raised" (by which I mean who discovered the trans community and only heard people use it in that positive but sarcastically hip way -- and FWIW, the sarcastically hip people I first discovered who used it for themselves were both trans men and trans women, so I only recently discovered how deeply it bothers so many other trans women) to use it hanging on to it. I think hanging on to it is kind of juvenile, honestly.
But I also think this sound and fury over it's a little odd. I could be speaking purely from privilege here, but the sheer epicness of the drama strikes me as out of proportion to the crime. It reminds me of the times we lash out at those closest to us, because, in a way, it's safe. Often, for many, it's easier to point out the faults of close allies/friends than it is to challenge those who don't have anything in common with us.